


Awakening

by VarLathVirSuledin



Category: Scrutinized (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VarLathVirSuledin/pseuds/VarLathVirSuledin
Summary: Hey guys and welcome to the sequel to "Obsession"!To the ones coming from there: welcome back!To the new people: I highly recommend reading "Obsession" first!In any event, hope you enjoy!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys and welcome to the sequel to "Obsession"! 
> 
> To the ones coming from there: welcome back!  
> To the new people: I highly recommend reading "Obsession" first!
> 
> In any event, hope you enjoy!

Tender rays of soothing sunlight fell through the windows, illuminating the tiniest particles of dust dancing in the air like jolly marionettes. Outside, on the many branches, in midst the treetops of the tall birches, a few sparrows had gathered to sing a beautiful melody. The faint sound of cars in the distance could be perceived but was no competition for the loud chanting of the birds.

The warm beams met her resting face, tickled the skin, caressed it with its gentle touch, kissed her awake ever so slowly. It felt like she was weightless; the soft, pleasant texture of the mattress underneath like one of those fluffy clouds in the sky.  
She blinked somnolently, her swollen eyes squinting whenever she tried to fully open them.  
Her head felt dizzy and numb when she sat up and a stabbing pain followed almost immediately. It found its roots in her head but also seemed to emit to different parts of her body. A small spot on her neck hurt as if someone had driven a knife through it and the crook of her arm frequently sent a single, sharp ache throughout her muscles and nerves.  
She eagerly wanted to inspect the causes of all the pain but was immediately overwhelmed by a wave of weakness that forced her to lay down again. 

Her gaze wandered through the room in search for something she was not aware of but everything she laid her eyes upon was somehow covered by a thin layer of whitish grey. When trying to think, to recollect, to remember, the very same veil clouded her thoughts, blocking out every information that could have helped. Nothing she saw felt familiar. The room she found herself in was grand and full of light, stemming from the sun's radiant beams falling through the what...two, three,four, five windows. White, translucent curtains had been carefully placed aside. The furniture - a wardrobe and a desk was all she could make out - were made from a very light wood and posed a contrast to the slightly darker parquet floor. She closer her eyes rapidly while shaking her head but when she opened them again, everything was still the same.  
There was nothing inside this room she knew or had seen before, neither the fancy king size bed she laid in nor the silken bedclothes wrapped around her body.

Where was she? Whose place was this? What year, what month, what day was it? How had she gotten here? Why couldn't she remember a goddamn thing? And with a sudden, harrowing realization, the most terrifying question struck her mind.

Who was she?


	2. Chapter 2

Panic drove her out of bed and panic it was that kept her on her feet, despite the grueling weakness trying to keep her down. Her knees shivered as she staggered through the room in desperate search for a mirror. She had to see herself.  
She had to know who she was.  
She headed towards one of the two doors, pushed down the latch and stumbled into the adjacent room. The light had no chance to illuminate the small chamber but from the sound of her bare feet on the cold tiling, she assumed it was a bathroom.  
Her head was spinning, her sight changed from crystal clear to awfully blurry in mere seconds. She could hear her irregular heartbeat pumping in her ears and felt a distinct nausea within her stomach. Her clammy fingers scratched over the left wall again and again - as if she was performing a quite bizarre form of affection for it - and after a few seconds she finally found the light switch.

She was presented with her own reflection in the medium sized mirror hanging over the basin.

Two skyblue, watery eyes stared at her in shock as tears started welling up in them. The face, HER face, was as pale as the white on the walls, framed by unwashed strands of dark blonde hair. The tiny scar over her left brow, hardly noticeable, seemed to be fresh since it was still red and the edges scabbed.  
As she raised her hand to touch it - it was an urge she couldn't suppress - a stinging pain rushed through her body and made her halt. It came from the crook of her arm. She turned her gaze away from the mirror and looked down.  
A small canulla had been driven into her vein, she could clearly feel the foreign object inside her.  
Her fingers wandered to the spot, touched it carefully, then with a sudden shudder running through her spine, she ripped it out.  
As soon as the needle was outside, blood began to flow from the tiny hole it left, running down her forearm, a narrow trickle of red. The way it creeped down and tickled her skin on its trail was mesmerizing and somehow a nice distraction from the permanent throbbing in every part of her.

A sudden noise from behind made her flinch and she quickly lifted her eyes to see yet another reflection in the mirror. It was a tall man, his brown hair neatly cut and with two dark irises that almost looked black in the glass, watching her. The man sighed and she turned around. "Why are you up? You should rest." His voice was calm and had a slightly worried undertone in it.

"Who are you? Are you my doctor?", she asked when noticing the white lab coat he wore and startled as she heard her own, fragile voice echoing inside the small, tiled room.  
Was that really her voice?


	3. Chapter 3

The man smiled as he stepped a bit closer.   
“Among other things, yes.” His curled lips soon lost the friendly expression and he frowned as he noticed the blood on her arm. In a matter of seconds, the narrow trickle had turned into a moderate river. There was already a little pool of red on the white floor beneath her. She followed his eyes and starred onto the single tile that ran red, spreading the plasma onto the adjacent ones. Her heartbeat sped up, her vision became even cloudier than before. 

“Come on, Ava. Let’s get you into bed again.” The tall man moved towards her, put her arm around his shoulder and used his other hand to support her hip.

“Ava”, she repeated absentmindedly. He carefully walked her to the king size bed and gently placed her on the soft mattress. Then he turned on the spot, jumped to the drawer not far away and started taking things out of it. She couldn’t see what exactly he did for she had enough to do fighting off the approaching blackout. Her eyes burned and she wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn’t come out. 

“Ava…. I am Ava?”, she whispered. 

“Yes, you are.” The brownhaired man returned to the bedside, in his hand a small tray that he placed on the nightstand. 

“And I am Tanner.” 

“Tanner…?” He nodded and gave her a broad grin. 

“What happened to me?” 

“You were in a car accident. Don’t you remember?” She shook her head, regretted it instantly as the throbbing intensified. 

“I don’t remember anything…” 

“I thought so. The doctors in the hospital explained that you might not be able to recollect certain things. But don’t worry, it might only be temporary.” He still wore that smile when he shifted his attention to the tray and took another canulla from it. 

“W-what are you doing?” 

“Well I need to put in another IV since you ripped the other one out.” 

“Why?” 

“You need your medicine, Ava. I explicitly asked the hospital staff to get the liquid form. The pills are huge and I don’t want you to choke on them.” Another smile, this time a lot more tenderly. 

“So, you are a doctor too? My personal doctor? Did the hospital send you?” 

“Among other things.” His reply gave more irritation than explanation. 

“What..?” 

“Listen, Ava..” he put the needle aside for a second and starred right into her eyes when he continued:” There will be enough time to talk after you are in a better condition, ok? Obviously there is a lot you do not know anymore and I don’t want to overstrain you right now.” 

“Alright”, she whispered exhausted. He was right. Her brain wasn’t capable of processing any valuable information at the moment, it would probably collapse when being hit with another revelation.  
She was Ava, had been in a car accident that had resulted in a – hopefully – temporary memory loss.   
She was alive and a doctor took care of her. That was all that mattered now. 

She silently observed how cautiously Tanner drove the other needle through the same hole. It hurt only little. Once the IV was set up, he grabbed a swab and began cleaning the already dried blood off her arm while throwing looks-which she couldn't classify- at her every time he went over a new spot. It left a pricking feeling wherever the fabric touched her skin.   
A few seconds later his fingers went for the tray once more and the next thing she saw was a thin syringe in his hand. Unknowing why, her entire body started shaking almost immediately and her heart felt like it would jump up and down inside her chest. 

“What is that?” Her voice shivered as she raised it and she anguishly stared at the liquid inside the injection. 

“It’s just a mild sedation mixed with pain relievers. It will help you sleep.” She trusted him – no had to trust him – but still didn’t feel good about it when he inserted the syringe. Only a single moment after the liquid entered her body, she already felt its effect. Her muscles went limb, the tension that had built up in the half past hour vanished almost instantly. Everything in her mind became very cloudy again and dizziness tugged at her. “Don’t worry. The pain will go away soon.” The last words she heard before falling asleep didn’t sound as pleasant and consolatory as she had wanted them to.


	4. Chapter 4

The heavy splashing of raindrops against the roof awoke her, dragged her out of a dreamless sleep. The bedroom was entirely black, the windows closed and veiled behind the curtains. 

"Hey, you're awake." A faint silhouette suddenly emerged from the shadows and swiftly moved through the darkness towards her. "How do you feel?" The mattress sunk a bit when Tanner seated himself on the side. She could easily make out that he was smiling, since his radiant teeth were clearly visible, despite the obscureness of the room.   
Good question though. How did she feel?

"Better, I think."

"Good, I am glad", he replied and turned on the lamp on the nightstand. He looked at her intensely, a circumstance that made her feel somehow awkward but instead of averting her gaze, she simply stared back at him, realizing that his eyes were - of course not - black as she had thought but possessed a rather warm, brown tone. 

"How long was I asleep?"

"A bit more than a day.Do you feel any pain right now?" Ava shook her head.

"Good. I will prepare something to eat for you then. I am sure you're hungry."

"Wait." Her hand dashed forward, took hold of his arm. "Can we...talk first?" Now with a clearer mind and without any pain distracting her, she felt it was the best time to regain more of her memories, if there indeed were any left.

"Alright. What do you want to know?"   
She had longed to ask questions ever since waking up the first time, but now, as the opportunity was given, her brain seemed completely empty and she couldn't come up with anything, despite knowing literally nothing.  
There simply was too much she wanted to know yet all of her thoughts seemed to be tangled to one big, fat clew. 

"I....uh....you....tell me about the accident", she finally blurted out after stammering for a few seconds. It wasn't a bad inquiry to begin with. Maybe when hearing about it, she might have been able to remember at least a teensy shrink.

"I wasn't with you when it happened but according to the police and the ambulance, a drunk driver crashed into your car when you wanted to turn." 

"Where was that?"

"Right outside the house. We were to meet in town and you wanted to set off."

"Meet? Why?" She knew about the stupidity of that question right after it came over her lips but Tanner just smiled it off when he explained:" I invited you there. For, you know..."   
The way his smile turned mildly unsettled her. Perhaps it was just the darkness of the room and the weak light of the lamp throwing peculiar shadows across his face, but that grin his lips curled into made him look like the devil.  
She blinked a few times, slightly shook her head and tried eagerly to focus again. 

"I know what?", she then wanted to know and suddenly had that weird feeling that she was missing out on something. Something important.

"For a date, dummy", Tanner said laughingly but as soon as it left his mouth it already died away again and he let out a sigh. "I shouldn't have said anything about it. When the doctors informed me of the possibility of an amnesia, they also urged me not to mention anything about...well...us. I'm sorry." His apology didn't even sound partially honest, more like a text he had memorized before but Ava had not the slightest interest in it anyway.

"Us?!", she shrieked, her eyes widening. A paralyzing tingle crept thorugh her spine and the color that had slowly returned to her skin, disappeared again, leaving it deathly pale. Did that mean what she thought it did?  
"Are we....?", she began but the words were stuck in her throat.

"Yes", was his plain answer.

Ava gasped for breath. That man in front of her, that man whose face was mere inches away was not only her doctor but also her.... her...boyfriend of some sort?! She broke eye contact and stared forlornly onto the pattern of the silken bedclothes laying over the lower part of her body, all the while trying to make sense of what she just heard. Why the hell did he tell her that? He should have listened to the medical staff at the hospital, it was far too soon to strike her with such a sensitive revelation. He was a doctor too, he should have known better! 

"Hey, look at me", his now much softer voice reached her ears and she slowly lifted her gaze.


	5. Chapter 5

The thought about him being her....spouse was bizarre and strange but as she was about to comment it, to express how that made her feel, she realized that his permanent, offputting grin was gone, replaced by something she had trouble to fully identify.  
She had the impression that he was somehow disappointed by her reaction, aggrieved even and without thinking about it - immediately noticing how stupid it was - she laid her fingers on his hand.

"I am sorry..." She didn't even know why she apologized but she felt urged to.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, Ava. I am the one making mistakes here." There was nothing left of the distinct softness he had spoken with before, quite the contrary. He sounded distant and cold, but when she searched for those signs in his face, there was none to be found. The corners of his lips were still lifted upwards, the kindness in his warm, brown eyes had also prevailed and the overall expression was a friendly one. She shortly reflected about that discrepancy. Maybe her body and mind were still too weary and her brain probably altered some impressions because it still was overstrained. A car accident with a head injury surely could leave other markings than "just" amnesia. She was certain that whatever he said and did was honest and truthful and as this thought struck her brain, she immediately began to feel terrible about herself.

That more or less stranger in front of her probably possessed certain emotions for her and all she could do was sit there, useless and incapable of remembering him. She felt utterly stupid and ashamed by it.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I am sure the amnesia won't be permanent. And I honestly didn't mean to upset you. All I want you do know is that I am here for you. No matter how all of this turns out. Ok?"

Her eyes burned with tears but she nodded heavily. He sounded so reassuring, his eyes, these dark brown pools of comfort and affection gently caressing her with their warming gaze. She wanted nothing more than to keep her mouth shut -and cursed herself afterwards - but she instead blurted out another question:"How long have we been...?" Couldn't she just be quiet?!

"Ever since you moved here. Just a couple of months."

"Moved here? Where did I live before?", she inquired and was immensely glad that she could change the subject so easily.The other topic had made her feel terribly uncomfortable and his almost constant grin hadn't helped at all to get rid of that sensation.

"From America", he answered shortly and before she could continue in her quest to acquire more knowledge, he added:" Anyway, I will get you something to eat. Would you like some chicken soup with noodles? You always enjoyed it before."

"Yes....yes, please." As she wondered about why he suddenly was so shortspoken, the broad smile returned to his face and he wanted to get up but something seemed to hold him back. His eyes laid on her delicate fingers that still rested on the back of his hand and she quickly returned them, hiding them under the blanket. Her cheeks were blushing out of shame but Tanner did not say anything, gave her a last benignant look and left the room.

The door clunk shut noiselessly and once she heard his faint footsteps becoming duller and duller, the tears started to flow uncontrollably.   
Nothing she had come to know had been helpful in any way. Nothing he had told her had conjured any memory or image inside her head, not even a single shred. Neither the sparsely infos about the accident and why she had been on the road nor the - for her - embarrasing display of Tanners and her relationship. And in addition to all of that, although feeling awful about herself and what had happened to her, it actually was not only her own situation she cried about but also his. If what he said was true, which she absolutely believed - why the hell would anyone lie about that - Tanner was now presented with an amnesiac....girlfriend - she had a hard time even thinking about that word - who neither knew anything about him nor about herself. She was unaware of what they had been through together or what they had in common, what they shared, how they felt for each other. Nothing. All she knew of him was his name. And he took care of her.

Despite the fact that her memory might never return.  
Despite the fact that she may not be the same person she had been before.  
Despite the fact that she may not fall in love with him again.


	6. Chapter 6

"Well, here we are." Tanners hand, who had supported her waist while heading down the staircase, retreated, his eyes urging her to take a look around. Two days had passed ever since he had told her about the accident. On the very same evening he had also explained that the house she currently resided in was hers and ever since then she had wanted to explore it, to get used to the fact that this was where she lived, but he had insisted that she rested until her body was at least partially restored to its usual health. He of course was right, a car accident was nothing to scoff at but the urge had persisted nonetheless. She had sighed gravely and agreed, but had felt misplaced and like a burden the entire time.   
Whenever she offered help, when she wanted to change the bedsheets or at least put her worn clothes into the laundry basket, he had refused vehemently each and every time. She wanted to believe that Tanner enjoyed taking care of her, that it was his explicit wish to do so but no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, that nagging sensation of being unhelpful and an encumbrance had not worn off.

They stood in the wide entrance of the huge living room. Radiant beams of the sun broke through the translucent curtains, plunging the area into warm, bright daylight, giving away a welcoming vibe.  
The wooden floor - freshly cleaned it seemed - sparkled wherever the rays touched it, showing off its flawless, unscratched surface. At the wall on the opposite side stood an immensely huge flatscreen TV and only two meters in front, a cozy looking, dark brown sofa with fluffy creme colored pillows.   
A tall, light shelf was placed at the right wall, filled with countless books and spare sheets that peeked out between them. On the left resided an old fashioned sideboard, its antique appearance absolutely unfitting compared to the other stuff in the room.

Although she had only seen one room - and didn't know how much there were to come - she was both amazed and irritated. These things must have been pretty expensive, how could she even afford such a place?

"Uhh... what exactly do I do for a living?", she therefore asked, as her gaze wandered over the fancy furniture once more.

"You don't work right now. As far as I know, you brought a little fortune with you when you left America. That's how you were able to buy this house."

"And how did I make that...fortune?" Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Tanner hide his hands behind his back, as he bounced back and forth on his feet and casually replied:" You never told me. You said you worked for a magazine or something like that."

She tilted her head to the side and frowned but decided to not inquire any further. If she hadn't told him, he couldn't shed light on it anyway.

"Did I bring something with me when I came here? Like, you know, some keepsakes or souvenirs?"

"Yes, I think you did." He seemed to reflect on it. "But it's only a small box if I remember correctly. And it's somewhere in the cellar, between all the junk and cobwebs. I will look for it in the following days, ok?"

She nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

"That's what I am here for", he giggled. 

"It might be a stupid thing to ask but... where exactly are we even?"

"It isn't stupid, how are you supposed to know! We live in a small town... actually, it has more of a village than a town.. and it lies at the foot of the alps."

Ava stared out of the wide window, her eyes barely able to see anything but the light and the outer lines of a few, high birch trees outside.

"I wonder what made me come here...", she murmured, absorbed in thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

"Well, that is a question I can answer", Tanner said, a certain pride resonating in his voice.  
"You were tired of living in a big city, where no one knows another, where each face looks the same, where your spirit, your soul, your very essence drowns in the rapid ticking of time....your words, by the way, not mine."

She did't know why but she had to laugh out loud. "I said that? Really?" 

Tanner joined her but his joyful expression changed in the matter of seconds and he all of a sudden appeared to become quite thoughtful.

"Yes, you did. And I think you are absolutely right about it. Here, everyone knows one another, wherever you go you will be greeted with a smile. It's a quiet, secluded area, we rely on each other. We have to, since the next town lies two hours away.  
You won't feel like time's rushing here, it is a place to heal... to get to know yourself."

As his last words reached her, her smile disappeared just as his had only moments before. 

"To get to know yourself...", she repeated.

"Poor choice of words. I am sorry, Ava. I shouldn't have said that..."  
Although on the verge of tears, she forced herself to swallow whatever negative feeling was about to come up.

"No, don't be sorry. Maybe there is something to it. I have to get to know myself, don't I? And if you say this village is the perfect spot to do so, then I... yeah, I shall trust you on this matter."

"Not only on this, I hope." She could hear his whisper, a devious giggle accompanying it, as he suddenly stepped closer to her and appeared in her direct line of sight. He was towering above her yet she didn't feel intimidated by his height.

"You know, I would never lie to you, right?" His warm, dark eyes met hers, gazing right into her soul. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine as she looked at him, a reaction of her body she would have liked to enjoy, if it wasn't for that one little detail that troubled her ever so slightly. His hands were still - or again, she couldn't recall - behind his back and that unsettled her somehow. She couldn't explain to herself why it troubled her so much but that comfortable shiver that had surged through her before got replaced by a displeasing shudder.

"You know that, Ava, right?" He repeated, putting great emphasis on the last word. The expression on his face appeared kind but the longer she looked at him the more she was overcome by the impression that whatever he tried to display there seemed artificial and stilted.

"Y-yes, I do."

"Good." Whatever Ava had thought she had seen on his face before, there was no trace of it left when his lips finally curled into a big, genuine smile again. Maybe her brain was trying to play tricks on her; right now and in her state of amnesia and general confusion she definitely couldn't trust her own ability to judge a situation or read someones behavior.

"Anyway, I should probably leave you a bit to yourself now. If you want, I can come back later though...?"

"Uh, yeah... that would be...nice. Maybe I can make some dinner for us? I have not the slightest clue where the kitchen is or if there is anything edible in the fridge, but I am sure I can come up with something", she offered.

"That sounds fantastic. Should you feel lonely or if the pain returns...just, if you don't feel well , call me, ok? My number is in your phone."

"Will do, thanks." 

The way he just stood there and looked at herlike a lost puppy was both disturbing as well as adorable.

"Thank you, Tanner. For everything." No reply nor any other kind of reaction. He simply stood there, his gaze still fixated on her and showing no intention to turn away and leave. He himself had offered to go, so what was he waiting for?  
Just as the situation began to feel awkward to her, he turned around on the spot and headed for the front door.

"Until then, Ava."


	8. Chapter 8

The immediate silence that laid over the room once Tanner had left was wearing.   
Although finally being on her own, Ava could not deny the existence of a minor panic awakening from its light slumber inside her chest. Combined with the general confusion that had accompanied her ever since being conscious, it made for a dragging mixture.   
She felt lost, both physically and mentally. No matter what corridor inside her brain she followed, they were all either dead ends or led to a darkness that - so it seemed- no light could ever reach.

When Tanner was around, those negative sensations, the forlornness, the impatience for not being able to remember a goddamn thing were still present of course but somehow much further away from being real. As if they were only something on the side, something she did not have to use her every power for to defend herself from. But had it really to do with HIS presence in particular or could it have been just anyones company that shielded her from all the bad stuff going on in her mind?   
For what did she really know about him that could explain such a phenomenon? He was a doctor and assumedly her spouse but what could she say about his character, his demeanor, his attitude? Overall he had undoubtedly been very obliging, had seen to her every needs and - yes, she had to admit it - whenever she looked into his brown eyes, she positively felt something. What it precisely was, of that she wasn't too sure. 

And yet, occasionally there was something about him that was...just... off, wrong even. 

Cold.

Pretend.

Ava frowned as she scoffed about her own, ridiculous thoughts. Such nonsense!  
Why the hell would she be that distrustful when being grateful was the only acceptable and right option? She should be thankful for all his help and support and not accuse him of playing games. And so she would!  
Making dinner for him might not compensate for the care he had taken of her and the house but it was definitely a good start. Maybe they would get along well and even spend more time togeher, who knew?

Perhaps she was able to fall for him again?   
She shook her head vehemently, it was far too soon to think about that but the thought stayed with her as she progressed further through the rooms.

The kitchen was grand and just like everything else she had seen before - light flooded and spacious. The fridge, made from stainless steel, glistened in the sun, showing no signs of finger prints or any other kind of dirt.   
Tanner must have kept it clean, a circumstance which was as amusing as it was heart warming. Poor Tanner. He surely had neglected all of his needs whilst seeing to hers.

She wandered along and soon found another tiled bathroom, almost identical with the one upstairs, a pretty tiny storage room filled with empty shelves and boxes and another door, that -so Ava thought - would lead to the cellar.   
Her fingers had already clutched the latch and wanted to push it down, when she suddenly halted.   
Cobwebs. Junk and cobwebs, that's what Tanner had said. She shuddered. Ava didn't have to think much further, it was obvious that the webs and their associated animals sparked a mixture of disgust and terror inside of her.   
Spiders, with their many legs covered in hair, their plenty eyes staring at her, their swift, unpredictable movements and their horrid ability to vanish behind literally ANYTHING were reasons enough for her to keep away from the door and the cellar beneath.

She was kind of happy about gaining knowledge about herself, even if it was merely a non relevant detail like that and as she wondered if she had always hated spiders or not, the abrupt knocking on the front door -more an annoyance than a reason to startle - prevented her from pondering. 

Who the hell would knock on her door? Tanner? Most probably, who else would come and visit her anyway? But he had left not long ago? Maybe he had forgotten something?

Ava slowly paced towards the faint sounds of a bare fist meeting wood, halted shortly and finally opened it, just wide enough to see who was there.

It wasn't Tanner.


	9. Chapter 9

"Uh..hello?"

"Hi." A tall man, his hands casually shoved inside the pockets of hsi washed out jeans, stood in front of the door, the expression on his face coolish but not unkind.   
His eyes -undoubtedly of a very dark brown - almost appeared to be black, especially because his huge figure entirely blocked out the suns radiant beams, solely giving his outlines a golden shimmer.  
His hair - the same color as his eyes- seemed unwashed and its cut somehow looked awfully weird to Ava. On the right side the strands reached partially to his cheek while the hair on the left was one or two centimeters long at most.

"I am Adam."

"Well...hi Adam?", she responded, her eyebrows raising in expectation. Although it was alarming that some stranger man simply walked up to her house, knocked and introduced himself, she did not want to let her true emotion show.

"Oh, for fucks sake, sorry. I am Adam, your next door neighbour and one of your friends."

She at first did not know how to react or reply to that, so instead she simply stared at him continously. The total lack of response appeared to confound him for one of his hands found its way out of his jeans and ran nervously through the long strands of dark hair. 

"I just met Tanner when he left your house. He explained that you have trouble to remember anything and I thought seeing a familiar face could help. Don't tell Tanner though."

The last part of his tiny monologue sufficed to finally get Ava out of her rigor. 

"Isn't he allowed to know?" 

It was the first time that Adams lips curled into a smile though it had more of an arrogant simper.

"He urged me to stay away and said that now is definitely not the best time to surprise you with a visit. "It is too soon", according to him but... we all know what it's truly about, right?"

"And what would that be?", she asked impatiently, having no clue what he was talking about. He was aware of her amnesia, why would he assume that she knew anything?

Adam shrugged, let his fingers glide through his hair once more - this time more elegantly - and answered, apparently unaffected by his words' meaning:" He just never liked me, I guess. He especially hates to see me around you. Quite the jealous type, isn't he? I really wonder how you are able to deal with such childish behavior."   
He laughed as if he had said something funny but Ava did not join him.  
Firstly because it wasn't nearly as hilarious as he thought it was and secondly because she absolutely could not stand nor understand his attitude. Everything about his behavior was abnormal.   
Even if she believed what he said - of them being friends - he had not once asked how she was or if everything okay - he surely knew about the car crash and everything further - nor had he shown any kind of genuine interest or care.

Besides that, Adam obviously was aware of whatever was between Tanner and her and still found it an A plus idea to come up and say something negative about the man who had spend his time taking care of her ever since the accident and assumedly even before?? Even if it was meant as a joke, Ava only found it rude and imprudent.

"Well, he has a point, you know. Now really isn't a good time", she heard herself say, startling on the inside over the coldness in her otherwise gentle and soothing voice.

Adam still seem amused, scoffed though and took a step back. 

"Very well , then. I will come back another day. Or you can come over whenever you are in the mood to." With a nod of his head he gestured towards the house adjacent to hers on the right.  
Ava forced herself to a halfhearted smile before she thanked him shortly, said goodbye, watched Adam unhurriedly leave her property and then closed the door. As soon as she heard the sound of the key turning inside the lock, the alarming feeling that had prevailed over the course of the conversation, slowly ebbed away.  
The simple thought of Adam being a friend of her - based on what had witnessed mere seconds ago - was repulsive. Imagining spending time with that man was just so impossible and she simply couldn't picture herself doing anything with that person, not even having a quick morning talk over the fence.  
If it was true an Tanner indeed disliked him, she had the fullest sympathy for it and there was definitely no way Ava wouldn't tell Tanner about Adam's visit.


	10. Chapter 10

"It looks delicious", Tanner said, as he took a sniff of the food on the plate. Ava turned away from the stove, examining his face in search for any trace of sheepish amusement. It was merely noodles with some random spices she had found in one of the many cupboards and she didn't even know if they went well together.   
Over the emotional ravagement - Adams visit had unsettled her more than she wanted to admit- she had almost forgotten about dinner. When it finally came to her mind again, she had raced to the kitchen, had opened every drawer she had been able to find.   
Most of them were, much to her astonishment, completely vacant except for half a bag of flour and mentioned spices she had surely never heard about before, not even prior to her amnesia.   
Luckily she stumbled upon a closed package of spaghetti noodles and since the fridge was as empty as everything else, she had to go with them. Ava of course found it odd that there were literally no edibles around, but she quickly found a plausible explanation that made sense - at least to herself. 

Tanner -who couldn't have known when exactly she would wake up - had probably disposed of all the fresh fruits and vegetables, because they would be spoilt in a matter of days. And he surely didn't want Ava to face the stench of rotten tomatoes and addled bananas when she would open the fridge door for the first time. As to why there were no packaged things to be found, she had no clue about. Maybe they, as a couple, cooked only rarely and prefered ordering food? She would definitely ask him about that soon.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Perish the thought", he replied while a big, fat grin appeared on his face. She tried to curl her lips into a reproachful pout but she just couldn't prevent herself from smiling. 

"If it is as bad as I think it will be, we can still order some food", she then offered and seated herself beside him. 

"No worries. Besides, I am curious about Adams visit. Tell me about it."

"You already know?"

"Of course I do. I told him not to come but he is as easy to see through as a window."

"I can't agree on that", Ava murmured as she shoved her fork into the clew of noodles and poked around inside it. "I thought he was acting weird. And he said we were friends before? Is that even true?"

"As far as I know, yes. You two spent quite some time together and I assume you wouldn't have done that if you weren't close."

"But... didn't I talk to you about him? Have I mentioned anything?"

Tanner took a bite, chewed slowly, all the while looking at her. The insistency of his dark eyes made her heart skip a beat and as she felt reddening heat crawl up her cheeks, she quickly averted her gaze and fixated a random point on the wooden table.

"You never talked to me about him because I asked you not to", Tanner explained, his voice sounding somewhat accusatory, as if her initial question had been inapt and the fact that he had to clarify it just annoying. His response made her feel repulsed but instead of changing topics -which he clearly would have prefered if she interpreted his undertone correctly - she frowned, lifted her eyes and stared right back at him. Was it really the jealousy Adam hat mentioned that was making him react like that? 

"And why is that?"

"Because I don't like him", was his snippy answer. 

"You are jealous", she then stated and gave him a challenging glance. 

It was the first time that she could see something like genuine suprise in his face, his brows darted up, his eyes widened slightly and the usual control he normally had over his muscles seemed to be paralyzed for half a second. Only a tiny moment later he regained his posture and the well-known grin reappeared on his lips. The smile however never reached the brown pools of coldness that examined her so closely and when looked at the whole ensemble of his facial expression, the only sensation that emanated from it was icy disdain.   
A shiver went though Ava's spine, sending frosty waves to her entire body that went stiff. Whatever she had done to get into that situation, she wished she had refrained from it. Uncomfortable wasn't even beginning to describe the invisible, impenetrable veil that smothered the last bit of pleasant atmosphere that had lingered in the kitchen before. 

"What a smart observation, Ava", he drawled, putting great emphasis on the "smart". "You are right. I am jealous." Tanner said nothing more than that before his eyes slowly wandered from her to the pile of noodles in front of him. 

Ava still stared at him, even when his attention had shifted and was trying to make sense of the different signals he had just thrown at her. His answer may have confirmed her statement but both his voice and his face had done quite the opposite. Hadn't she clearly heard patronizing sarcasm dripping from his words? Hadn't his cold, aloof eyes revealed more than he might have wanted?

"Why are you looking at me like that?", he asked, still not paying attention to her.

"Why are you so dismissive?"

"Well, what would you have me do, Ava?" Tanner suddenly raised his head and glanced at her.  
"Yes, you are absolutely right, I am... was jealous. You really are cruel enough to make me admit that under these circumstances? What good does that do, tell me?"

She startled at his sudden outburst and when she finally realized the true emotion behind his mask, she couldn't do anything but lower her eyes in shame.


	11. Chapter 11

The sudden wave of heating abashment befalling her brought a disgusting mixture of various emotions with it. Anger combined with absolute incomprehension and even abhorrence about herself. Her situation was undoubtedly not the best but it did not justify her immature attitude. Tanner had it hard enough already, with Ava as amnesiac "girlfriend" and all the time he spent to help her recover, the least he needed was her cocky behaviour that quite literlly did not even have a real purpose. Why had she said that? Just to get a reaction out of him? To provoke him? What for?  
Tanner was right, it did no good and the deep red color , a beacon of glaring shame that tinged her entire face, supported his statement. 

"I am sorry, Tanner....", she murmured meekly and really meant it. She could feel his eyes upon her, hoping that the cold expression in them had dissolved and was replaced by a comforting, warm look. She did not dare lifting her gaze to see whether she was right or not. A deep drawn sigh reached her followed by a grave silence that only intensified the guilt that pulled her down and she could already sense the tears burning.

"I shouldn't have provoked you like that... I was insensitive and you definitely do not deserve that, so once again.. I am sorry..."

"How very polite of you to apologize." Ava didn't see his face but the way he said that vexed her. His voice was calm, nearly stoic but at the same time it sounded strained.

"I did not mean to be dismissive and my reaction might have been a bit snippy." No more words came over his lips, a circumstance that made her irritation prevail further. Was that supposed to be an apology...? It certainly did not feel or sound like one but instead of adressing it, Ava steadily raised her head to meet his glare and was greeted by a silent smile and lurking eyes. It looked creepy. They glanced at each other for quite a while until Tanner continued to poke his fork into the noodles.

"It tastes...interesting. I would recommend skipping the cardamom the next time though. It's a tad too sweet." At first Ava couldn't follow him, was fully perplexed by the words he spoke but it soon dawned on her what he was talking about. A rather quick change of topic but he was pleased with it, then she would be too.

She let out a small laugh. "I don't even know what that is! I just threw everything together into a pot and hoped for the best! Shall we throw it away and order something?"

"You haven't even tasted it yet." With a nod of his head he summoned her to have a bite and after dubiously examining the food on her plate, she shoved a bit into her mouth. The taste, first pretty spicy changed to terribly salty, then to sweet and lastly left a horribly bitter after taste. Ava grimaced over the explosion of all these different flavours in her mouth, took a big gulp of water and rapidly brushed the dish aside.

"How did you manage to eat so much of it?", she asked and coughed. Whatever kind of spice it was, it teased and irritated her throat even after having half a glass of water. 

"You just have to get used to it", he grinned and deliberately ate even more of the noodles to which Ava merely shook her head. It was absolutely unenjoyable.

"Do you want something else? We could order some chinese food, if you want?", Tanner asked after swallowing and once more, there was tenderness inside his wonderful brown eyes.

Ava smiled at him but shook her head again. "I am not really hungry anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Well.. what would you like to do then? It's only half past nine, we still have the entire evening... unless you want me to leave?"

She pretended to ponder over what he said, put thumb and index finger to her chin and posed them into a thinking gesture. Admittedly she was tired and cuddling into her wonderfully soft blanket was a highly alluring prospect yet the thought of Tanner leaving displeased her. She did not want to be alone in this house, she couldn't stand the spiraling her mind went into when she was on her own. But that of course were not the sole reasons.   
Tanner....the person, the man, her "boyfriend"... although acting REALLY weird from time to time she found undeniable interest in him. There was just something about him that awoke her curiosity time and time anew and whenever she thought she could grasp whatever it was that made him so interesting, she was pushed back into nescience.   
She had all these questions inside her head, all the things she desired to know about him but at the same time she never took a chance to actually inquire about anything and she didn't understand why. Why didn't she just speak her mind? What prevented her from taking steps towards him? Was it too soon? Was she merely scared that, if she did show genuine interest, he would assume that she still liked him as much as she had before? What if she did? What if she did not? Would the disappointment be so great that he would abandon her forever?

"Stay...please. Maybe... I don't know, maybe we can watch a movie and talk?", she carefully asked and all of a sudden felt very shy and vulnerable.

"It would be my pleasure", was his answer as he gifted her a soothing smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, will come along with more tomorrow! Too tired right now! x.x

By the time they made themselves comfortable on the couch, Ava could sense distinct nervousness welling up inside her, spreading into every limb, every muscles, every nerve, causing an unpleasant feeling of agitation. The palms of her hands were covered in cold sweat which she desperately tried to dry over and over again by rubbing them against her shirt. Tanner, totally oblivious to her inner flurry, kneeled in front of the little cupboard underneath the huge TV and browsed through the many DVDs standing in it, all neatly arranged and well-sorted. 

"What would you like to see?"

"Uh..I don't know. You choose", Ava responded, as she nervously played with her freezing finger tips. She had not felt like this when they've had dinner - or whatever one would call that unappetizing dish - so why now? The reason for it was as clear as borad daylight - Tanner, or rather the circumstances she found herself in. In the kitchen, the atmosphere had been tensed and her mind had to cope with that terrible mixture of emotions that had swirled around in the air. Now though, with disputes and negativity shoved aside, with misunderstanding more or less solved, the nervousness flared up like a flame and spread like wildfire throughout her body.   
His mere presence was enough to deeply unsettle her and even if it wasn't necessarly in a bad way - more like a positive form of excitement - she didn't enjoy the effects that came with it. Her profusely sweating hands and her galloping heart aside, there was also this queasy sensation inside her stomach that definitely did not stem from the tiny bite of noodles she had. 

"Hmmm... this one you like."

"Do you, though?", she quickly asked as she watched him placing the disk into the DVD player.

"I really don't mind what we watch." Before Tanner grabbed the remote and eventually seated himself beside her, he unbuttoned the white lab coat he always wore, took it off and carefully placed it on the huge armrest of the sofa.   
It was the very first time she saw him without it but it did not make that much of a difference, for the shirt underneath was just as pure white, the only difference being that the sleeves were rolled up, revealing his lower arms. 

He sat down, turned on the TV and leaned back. Ava stared onto the screen but couldn't prevent from secretly throwing glances at him. Being so close to him made her heart race even more, its thumping so loud in her own ears, she feared that he might be able to hear it. She clasped her hands, eagerly trying to distract herself from the agitation but it did not escape Tanners notice.

"Are you ok?"

"Hm? Oh...yes, sure."  
The upper part of his body moved along as he turned his head towards her and examined her closely.

"You seem to be flustered. Am I making you nervous?", he then asked. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her again, but besides from sounding amused there also was something else resonating in his voice, a certain tone she couldn't quite classify.  
She met his eyes, searching for a hint inside them but his look was as benevolent and friendly as most of the time.


	13. Chapter 13

"N-no, you don't", she eagerly answered back, already feeling caught. Tanner scrutinized her, the look on his face seemingly changing from friendly to devious in the light and dark of the rapidly switching scenes of the TV screen.

"I am tired, that's all, let's just watch the movie, ok?" His grin lost the shiftiness Ava had thought she had seen when he simply nodded in approval, not mentioning that her claim of being tired and the nervousness her body reacted with absolutely contradicted.  
She felt another wave of blush covering her already burning cheeks and was glad that he had focused his attention to the movie again. If Tanner would notice only half of the various emotions that so clearly happened on her face the entire time, he would surely think of her as easy to see through as glass, just as he thought about Adam. 

Maybe it wasn't so bad to show feelings to others and let them partake in whatever was going on in her mind and yet at the same time, Ava still had the strong urge to hide mentioned feelings away, to conceit them or at least partially keep her body from portraying them. Why though? If he truly was or had been her significant other, why would she desire to keep sensations, no matter if positive or negative, to herself? She had trusted him and as of now, besides some minor misunderstandings and stuff she -of that she was certain - imagined, he had not given her any reason not to confide in him now.

"Do you want something to drink?" Tanners question startled her, brutally ripping her out of her train of thoughts and instead of giving an answer she just stared at him in shock.  
Tanner laughed, let out a sigh and then, a lot more sinister, said:" Always lost in thoughts, hm?" He then rose from the sofa and paused the movie.

When he raised his voice once more, he sounded quite matter-of-factly and business like. "I will grab you a special cocktail. You still aren't healthy yet and I brought some vitamin pills from the clinic. They might taste a bit funny, but you will get used to it in no time, I promise."

"Vitamins? What for?" She had been in a car accident and only unconscious for a few days, right? Why would those be necessary?

Tanner sighed anew as he squatted in front of her and looked at her in such a heartwarming manner, that whatever tiny shrink of doubt she may have had before, immediately vanished into thin air. His eyes, although dark and lurking, radiated with such softness, with distinct honesty that, for just a second, it took her breath away.

"Your body has a lot to deal with right now. Even if you don't feel the weakness that intensely, it still is there. Sure, it will go away eventually, but the sooner the better, right? That's why it is important that you do your best to support your body on his way to a full recovery. And providing what he needs the most at this very moment is the best you can do", he explained softly, as if talking to a crying, little girl that had scratched her knees. While others would find this offensive, Ava couldn't help but nod, a grateful smile plastered across her lips.

"You are right. Thank you."

"No need. I am your doctor after all."

Ava did not think about the words falling out of her mouth in the next moment and as soon as they were spoken, she cringed about herself.

"Among other things."


	14. Chapter 14

There was no need to say anything, neither an apology nor a phrase to express how utterly stupid it had been to say this. The shame on her flushing, red face was so clearly visible that even a blind man would have seen it and Ava, although abashed, cursed herself on the inside. Before she could even think of something to say though, Tanners giggle started ringing in her ears and shock on her side soon turned into astonishment as she watched his curled lips.

"Quite cheeky, are you?"

"I-I did not mean to...."

"What?", he susurrated softly, his voice suddenly husky and low as he leaned in closer. She wanted to inch away but found herself too captivated by the two pair of dark eyes that regarded her so intensely. 

"Were you trying to tease me?", he whispered both playfully and at the same time menacingly , his warm breath meeting her heated face, making her spine tingle. Her heart leaped up as his gaze wandered from her widely open eyes to her burning cheeks and ultimately to her slightly trembling lips. She could not respond, could only stare at him in eager expectation of what was going to happen next.  
Tanner, not receiving any signal to move away from her, drew even closer, so close in fact that his face in front of her almost became blurry. She could sense the warmth of his body on her own skin, could almost grasp the distinct amorous tension electrifying the air. A foreign hand slowly approached her, its fingers gently brushing a loose strand of her hair out of her brow, placing it behind her ear. His hand remained on the spot, the thumb stroking tenderly over her cheek.

Ava did not dare to breath, too anticipated and frightened was she. Whatever was to come next, she both wanted and did not want it.


End file.
